


Sufficent

by Sunniebunniez



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Kid Okumura Yukio, M/M, Misunderstood Relationship, Okumura Rin Needs a Hug, Other, Rin is a dork, misunderstood sibling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:47:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28190379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunniebunniez/pseuds/Sunniebunniez
Summary: Okumura Rin is relatively well known. Even if you've never talked to him before, you know him by the dopey walk he has and the playful banter he always carries along with himself. At least, that's how he wants to be known. Most people who look at him don see him but see what he is. What he was born as. The ears and the fangs tell enough.It's easy to forget that Rin can sometimes be more than he shows other people. It's easy to forget that he's a demon to some people, and for others, it's easy to forget that he is a teenage boy. This story will go through Rin, and how he deals with what is going on around him, as well as how the people around him deal with him.TW: Self-Harm, Gruesome themes, Suicidal ThemesUpdates once a week.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	Sufficent

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my very first fanfiction on this site, so please be kind and tell me your thoughts. Constructive Criticism goes a long way! Enjoy :)

"Maybe dad should have killed me when he had the chance all those years ago."

Nobody was around to hear it, of course. It seemed like everyone was afraid of him now, or hurt by how long he hid his true identity. He had tried too hard to protect them, to save his brother the trouble of dealing constantly fears of the Vatican, by following rules, and it had backfired on him. Don't show your tail, tuck it in or wrap it around your body at all times. Don't smile too big, you have fangs and they look unnatural. Don't cut your hair and make sure it always covers your ears a little so nobody can see your "elf ears". Don't get angry, try not to feel and show too deep emotions. Your flame will show out and the Vatican may have to execute you for making a scene. And finally and most importantly, don't tell anyone of your true identity, not even your friends. 

Rin, growing up, was a very open person. He seemed to always wear his heart on his sleeve, and he tried his best to take care of his little kid brother. He tried his best to make friends, and to get good grades and not cause a fuss, he really did! But it never seemed to be seen in his way or his version. At some point, some part of his story was ignored or cutaway. At some point, his efforts were no longer acknowledged.

Several years ago, beginning middle school was a huge deal for rin, as well as Yukio alike. The bunk beds in the monastery were boarded in a bright room with scribbles on the wall. On one side of the room, toys and drawings were littering the floor in a big mess, legos dug into the carpet. On the other side, there was a simple juice box sitting on a desk and clothes laid out for the next day. As expected, Rin was in a deep sleep on the top bunk with his blanket hanging halfway off the bed and to where Yukio's face normally was. Fortunately for him, he was already up much ahead of Rin' s usual wake up time.

"Rin! What the hell did I say about sleeping in you little punk?" Father Fujimoto entered the room as Rin groggily opened his eyes. "..huh?"

Father Fujimoto yanked the blanket off of him, causing Rin to jump at the quick movement and the cold air against the warmth that had enveloped him. "Hey! What is it you old fart?" The blanket held by his father was flung onto the bottom bunk as he chuckled. "Yukio is already at the bus stop, kid. It's your first day of school. The big middle school edgy area. New beginnings, whatever they say."

Rin's eyes went wide as he practically jumped out of the bed, irritability, and panic written on his face. "Why didn't you wake me up earlier?!" He hurriedly threw his sleep shirt off and shoved on his new button-down shirt that was his new uniform. Yukio, Fujimoto, and himself has spent an entire day at the store last week picking them out since the uniform for this school was just any collared shirt and no blue jeans. That had made it easy for them to buy a new school wardrobe, though Yukio most likely preferred it more than he did. He had bickered the whole way, wondering why he "had to wear lame clothes". When it came to him beginning to shrug off his sleep shorts, Father Fujimoto turned away and covered his face a bit. "We tried already kid. A few times. Now hurry up and get going!"

Rin took a deep breath as he tied his shoes and ran a hand through his hair. "Hey...dad? Are you sure I have to go?"

Father Fujimoto laughed lightly, slapping his back a bit and kneeling to his level. "Are you kidding kid? Yeah...yeah you do." Rin looked up at his father with an undecided look and his hair a fluffy mess. "But school isn't my thing! And...you know how they treated me at the uh, old school... What's to say this will be different?" 

Smirking a bit at the young boy, he patted his head and effectively fixed his hair. "You'll never know until you try, right kid? This is your chance at a new beginning, a fresh start. At least try before you give up on it."

"Fine. But I won't like it!" Rin humphed, mentally taking comfort in what his dad said, and bolted out the door as he grabbed his bag off the counter. 

When he got outside, Yukio was already sitting there, anxiously looking around for Rin as the bus driver told Yukio to get in. He sighed, standing up and beginning to slowly walk to the bus when a muffled cry of "Wait!" was shouted. Shoes hitting the pavement were loud as he booked it into the bus, a piece of toast hanging in his mouth as he ran to his seat. Yukio sighed a bit, before walking onto the bus and feeling the bus doors shut directly behind him. By the time Yukio turned around to look at his older brother, he was taking a bite of the toast near the back of the bus since almost all of the seats were taken. He sat next to his brother in the hall seat, letting Rin's imagination have the window seat. When they were younger, Rin used to picture a hero running down the road and following the cars, jumping from powerline to powerline and never falling behind. They didn't have a name, nor even a personality, but they were always right next to the vehicle doing some form of parkour. Yukio chuckled a bit, eying his brother oddly. Rin glanced over at him from looking out the window, raising his eyebrows at him. "What's so funny, four eyes?" Yukio shook his head, letting rin continue with his antics. "Nothing. Where were you this morning? Asleep like normal?"

Rin looked to the side, crossing his arms across his chest as the bus hit a particularly hard bump on the road. "Maybe. What about it?" Yukio lightly playfully rolled his eyes, looking back at Rin. "The first day and you're already slacking off. That's a new record!" Rin scrunched his face up, throwing the crusts of his toast out of the window. "Hey! Knock it off, Yukio. The older brother is the one that is supposed to mess with the younger brother."

Yukio scowled, "You're like seven minutes older than me, Rin. We're _twins_." Rin laughed a bit and poked his brother on the nose, laughing about how it counted. Rin looked back down and sighed a bit, losing the playful demeanor. "I just...want to make a better impression here than the last school, yanno?" Yukio watched his brother practically sink into himself and sighed, patting his hand a bit. "It will be fine, Ni-Saan. Just stay calm and don't get into trouble."

Rin nodded a bit, before trying to brighten the mood and elbowed Yukio in the ribs. "Promise I will! And you better promise you will have the best day of school ever bro." Yukio shrugged a bit, picking his bag up and standing as the bus stopped. "I'll try. Don't mess this up, Rin. Father is counting on you to do well here." 

Rin's face soured a bit as Yukio walked away, frowning a little. For the last few months, Yukio had been a little bit more snippy at him. It seemed like he almost didn't need him anymore, didn't need him to be a big brother and protect him like he did when they were younger. Yukio had always been kind of anxious and shy, and never wanted to go out of his comfort zone. When Rin found out Yukio wanted to be a doctor, he was ecstatic. He practically jumped up and down for a dream that wasn't even his and told him he'd always be there for him. Though it was great that Yukio was getting out of his comfort zone, it made Rin kind of sad that his little brother didn't need him as much. It was his job to keep his little brother protected, not the other way around.

"Stupid.." Rin grumbled, getting off of the bus and walking to the big double doors. They looked so intimidating to the boy, but as he approached them he noticed that Yukio had already gone inside, and well, he couldn't have his little brother beat him in something this trivial. He walked in and looked around at the lockers lining the walls, the different students that he didn't know yet littering the halls as the bell rang for his first class. He took a deep breath, "Here goes nothing.." before he walked into his first-class of the day.

* * *

Lunch Time eventually came around. The day hadn't gone by too bad! Nobody called him names or looked at him weirdly, it was almost like he flew under the radar. To be honest, it was almost a relief. He almost felt like he could be himself. He sat down at a lone table towards the middle of the cafeteria, where nobody else was sitting. He pulled out his bento that he had made himself the night before and looked around the cafeteria. Huh. Yukio was nowhere to be found. Rin couldn't blame his little brother, though. This school was a chance for new beginnings, and Rin constantly brought trouble. If he were Yukio, he would probably stay away from him too.

He opened the top of his bento and picked up his chopsticks, getting ready to eat, when a small group of kids came up to the table. A kid with a big grin on his face lightly kicked the bottom of the table, making Rin look up at them. "Uh..Hi." The boy looked him up and down, before suddenly shoving Rin's bento onto the floor. It landed with a smack and glided all the way to another table where someone else kicked it. "Hey! What is your problem, man?!" Rin's eyes shone with pure anger, the blues in his eyes showing like something dangerous and bright. "Name is Shiratori. Reiji Shiratori. Looks like someone is sitting where they shouldn't be."

Rin sneered at him, gripping his chopsticks tightly in his hand as he tried to keep his cool. "What the hell do you mean? It's the first day, there are no seats!" Reiji blankly stared at him a bit, before laughing loudly. "That's funny, kid. You're a hoot, really. You're obviously new here. This is our seat, and if it wasn't before, it is now. So why don't you just run off somewhere? Go to a cave, maybe somewhere dark?" "Why are you even talking about that?! What did I do to you?!"

"Well, monsters and demons like dark places, don't they? After all, they thrive better at night. Maybe then you could actually fight me as well." Rin's breath caught in his throat, and it was like a landslide came over him and he was buried underneath the rubble of it all. He was almost shaking in anger and opened his mouth to speak when Reiji laughed a little and cut him off. "Yeah, I know who you are. The kid that you beat up at your last school, well I knew him. Most people know who you are, really. Ever think to know why nobody has said a word to you?"

"Hey! K-Knock it off! It wasn't like that!" Rin stood up, getting eye to eye with the boy that had a massive grin on his face. "What is so funny to you!?"

"You do really act like some type of monster, you know. Why so angry, Okumura?" Reiji's eyes stared into his, challenging him, daring him to act up. As Rin looked around the cafeteria, he realized that all eyes were on him and surrounding him from all angles. "I'm not angry!!"

"Oh yeah? Then what's your fist doing?" Rin looked down, his hand in an angry fist and the chopsticks gripped tightly in his hand. "Sh-shut up! You know _nothing_ about me!"

Reiji laughed a bit, mocking him as he pushed Rin. "Oh yeah, you demon-"

Reiji didn't even get the words out of his mouth before he went sailing to the floor, along with Rin's chopsticks. 

Rin's world had gone red. A blur, like he saw what was happening but he couldn't help it. He couldn't help his fists hitting the boy's face, the faint screams he could hear behind the fog filling his head. He faintly acknowledged that someone was pulling on his shirt, grabbing his hair, before somebody hit him hard in the nose. That was enough to knock the breath into, making him fall off of Reiji and onto the cold, hard tile of the cafeteria. Eyes. All eyes were on him, staring, judging. Judging how he acted, how blood was now pooling on the floor. Which blood was his anymore? He couldn't tell anyway.

He acknowledged someone kicking his side, but it was just a faint sting. People were pushing him aside. He sat, staring at a crack in the floor of the tile, almost shutting down as he heard people comforting the other boy covered in blood. All Rin could see was the smile looking at him underneath the blood coating his face. Reiji had won.

He's glad Yukio didn't sit with him. He was a monster.

* * *

He had been suspended. The first day.

The first day of a fresh start and he had already ruined it. 

Sitting in the office as he held a rag to his nose, he heard sirens. Not for him, but for the young boy in the nurse's office. His family could afford that, unlike his. Hell, his dad couldn't afford the clothes he was wearing. The brand new white button-down shirt was now stained with blood. He ruined _everything._

As soon as the doors unlocked to let the paramedics, he darted past them. A teacher yelled at him as he ran, clutching the soaked white towel in his fist. He couldn't face his dad after this, not after he had ruined everything like he always did. So he ran. He ran until his feet gave out from under him and the breath had completely gone from his lungs. God, they were right. They were right. He was a monster. A demon. He ruined everything and his dad knew it, everyone knew it including himself.

He fell to the ground and skid on the concrete as he tripped on a rock, making a loud "ump" sound as he hit the ground. He stayed there a minute, too tired to stand, too tired to get up. Shakily, he stood and wobbled over to a bench with a single light beside it. People walked by, not paying attention to him. Rin took several deep breaths, shakily curling into his weak body as he thought about the events that had transpired earlier. He had messed up, and he already knew that his father would be disappointed in him. If it wasn't his father that was disappointed in him, then his brother most certainly would be. What kind of example was he setting for Yukio?

Rin sat there. He sat there gripping the rag the nurse had given him in his hand and the crusted blood on his face for hours. He sat under that light until the light turned to dark, and the only brightness was coming from the street light above him.

And he knew that no matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, he would never be enough. He still knows that.

Just like that night under the street light, he was alone again.


End file.
